I hate to read poorly written proposals, and reviewers do too. When proposals are written in the passive voice, when proposals are wordy, and when proposals use language incorrectly or in silly ways, reviewers have trouble reading your prose and finding your arguments persuasive.
Despite all the good graphics and tables you may include, a proposal is primarily a text-based document. Be your best by using good prose. Among other things, this means using the right words in the right places.
Bob Lohfeld, the founder and head of the Lohfeld Consulting Group, has usefully identified kinds of words that you should avoid if you want your proposal to sparkle and keep reviewers awake. They are briefly described below.
Avoid crutch words that are designed to make reviewers think you know your stuff. My favorite is the word “understand.” Do not tell reviewers that you “understand” the requirements or their needs. Demonstrate that you have a deep understanding.
No one likes a braggart, especially in proposals. Here are some unfortunate examples that frequently appear in proposal prose: best-in-class, world class, state-of-the-art, and uniquely qualified. My favorite barbarism is “thought leader.” Convey a confident tone in your prose and provide plenty of evidence that your company is highly qualified – that is the best way to brag.
Do not tell reviewers how pleased you are to submit your proposal. Do not tell reviewers that you are committed to quality. Do not use cant, platitudes, and clichés such as “At our company, we have been putting the customer first for 16 years.”
A proposal is not the best place to be self-effacing. Do not qualify everything (“should we be awarded this contract” or “we propose to perform”) – convey a tone of quiet confidence and directly state what you intend to do.
Many proposals are painful to read because they say the same thing over and over and over again. Be concise and get to the point quickly – this approach will endear you to busy, harried reviewers.
For some odd reason, some adults actually believe that bigger words demonstrate that you are highly intelligent and insightful. True, but only to a point. Do not say “utilize,” one of my favorite bad long words, say “use.” Avoid “ascertain” and use “learn” instead. I have a simple rule in my proposal prose: if sports announcers keep using a big word frequently and incorrectly, drop it from your prose. You will never go wrong using this rule.
It is permissible to say “hit the ground running” over lunch, but not in a proposal. Your proposal prose should be formal because of the seriousness of the occasion and the respect you have for the reviewers.
Prune your proposals of bad prose and they will become more competitive. Good words can help you win, but inappropriate or bad words will certainly help you lose.